|Social Intelligence| Flipping the Script – By Whit. James

Guest writer edition: @AsToldByHer_

While spiraling in what felt like a vicious tornado for what truly felt like an eternity, I realized that I was beyond unhappy with my present situation. I reflected back on my childhood and started to fully understand why. Venture back in time with me to a sixth grade English class. I remember enthusiastically telling my teacher that once I reached the ripe age of 26, all things in my life would be set. By that age I expected to be finished with my graduate degree, married, have the car of my dreams and a house that ready to fill with two children. At the time that didn’t sound ambitious to me, it was simply a goal that I had for my life and I was determined to accomplish that. Sitting here at the beautiful age of 28 and looking back, I now realize that my sixth grade self forgot to factor in the extra hiccups that life would inevitably have set aside specifically for me.

Right before my 26th birthday, I realized I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life. I became depressed because I thought I had failed the sixth grader inside of me. I decided this wasn’t acceptable and prepared myself to figure out how to remedy this situation. This was the beginning of what I call “Flipping the Script”. What exactly does that mean you ask? It means I took my life, examined it, decided I didn’t like what I was doing, and started rewriting the script. I started first by hunting for the passion I lost somewhere after the sixth grade. I found my inner sixth grader, the one yearning to prove herself to the world and show it exactly what she was all about. I understand that many people embark on this type of journey and like me, find it a little daunting. Allow me to share a few steps that I learned along this process, so that you can flip your script and take your life back into your own hands.

First, learn to try new things. Embrace the adventure seeker inside of you and take some risks in order to figure out where your true passion resides. Go on a nature hike, volunteer with the wildlife reservation, sign up for a paintball class, train for a marathon or whatever you need to clear your mind and focus on what you really love to do. While you participate in these extracurricular activities, you will meet new people, hear new stories about life and gain new experiences. All of this can help you gain new ideas and perspectives about your inner passion, which may lead you right to the new career you have been seeking.

Secondly, learn how to be bold. To my wonderful introverts, this is especially important for you. Get comfortable (which can be an oxymoron for us), because in order to step into the spectacular, enhanced version of yourself, it’s imperative. Feeling uncomfortable means you’re experiencing growth, new life and changing for the better. It will be awkward and you may struggle to find a good groove, but embrace these feelings and keep pushing forward. Remember why you’re taking these steps, take a deep breath, and walk forward confidently.

Thirdly, love yourself! I cannot stress this one enough. Listen, realizing that working in a cubicle, being a welder, a beautician, an underwater explorer or whichever profession you are currently trapped in, can be extremely discouraging. More than ever, it will be important to love every single fiber of your being. This journey won’t be easy but it will be rewarding! Trust me, I’m going through it as I write this note to you. Remember that you deserve happiness and inner peace. This is your time to stand up and take your life back.

Embarking on your new path means that you may lose friends, people may doubt you, and at times you might even cry because let’s face it, change is not always easy. Learn during the challenging times and fully acknowledge your greatness during the rewarding times. Remember, you are smart enough, you are wonderful enough and more than deserving of this new opportunity, so what are you waiting on? Make today the first step of your new journey!

Whit. James is Co-Founder of the brand As Told By Her.